“And I love you, Katherine.” He dragged in a breath. “But I can never have you.”
The rain had increased in intensity, and a soft rumble of thunder made them raise their heads and stare at the hills over which grey storm clouds were rolling.
“It reminds me of the West Indies,” he said , taking her hand and squeezing it gently before he released it. “I thought of you whenever a storm rolled in. You’d have loved it.”
“I’d have gone with you if you’d asked me.”
He smiled and brushed back a strand of wet hair from her cheek. Though light, the rain was dense. “It was not a life for a young girl. I told myself that often enough when I wished I had asked you. Come.” He started to walk, turning and holding out his hand to her, but not to make contact. He couldn’t afford to do that.
It was safer if they talked as they made their return to the house. With no physical contact. He’d need to be on the road shortly if he were to make it to Patmore Farm before nightfall. “Besides, you were testing the competition with some enthusiasm, if I recall.” Levity might make their conversation more bearable.
“Freddy?”
He slid a glance across towards her darkened expression. “I’m sorry, Katherine. Sorry it was not the marriage for which you’d hoped.”
“It was a marriage I’d never intended,” she muttered. “But there it is, Jack. We cannot change the past, can we?”
“I would to God we could.” Jack stopped in the middle of the lawn, suddenly overcome with the need to communicate his longing when before he’d been intent more on communicating the reasons why their love could never be. “Or the timing, Katherine. I said if you ever needed me, you had only to call on me, and now that you do need me, I cannot give you what you want.”
“I only want it if you want it too, Jack. If you want it enough, that is.” She turned her head away and continued walking b his side, saying just so he could hear, “But…pay me no heed. I’ve become churlish when your parting kiss should have been everything I needed to sustain me.” She stopped as they reached the gravel drive that skirted the house and turned abruptly, her tears mingling with the raindrops. “I’m sorry, Jack. I didn’t mean to make this harder than it is already. You are a good man. An honourable man. That’s why I love you, I suppose. But I understand what you’ve told me. And I understand that now it’s time to say goodbye.”
Chapter 26
Back at the Northcote Arms, Antoinette and Bertram were becoming increasingly frustrated by the lack of progress in expediting their plan. They’d not told Jack they planned to detour via the Northcome Arms en route to Patmore Farm. That would have smacked of collusion though surely the young man understood the lengths to which they’d go in order to reunite the childhood sweethearts.
“They’ve barely spoken a word to one another, Bertram,” Antoinette hissed as she went to the window in order to examine the approaching bad weather, calling her brother to her side, supposedly to get his opinion.
The siblings glanced over their shoulder at Miss Worthington and Lord Derry, who both appeared to be gazing into space, while they sipped tea. Mrs Monks had returned to her bedchamber.
Bertram scrunched up his face as he contemplated the matter. “Leave it to me,” he said after a pause.
“Oh dear, that’s what you said last time.” Antoinette bit her lip. “And poor Aunt Brightwell ended up in a hot-air balloon with dreadful George Bramley trying to make love to her thinking it was Thea.”
“Ah, but you missed the point, Antoinette.” Bertram scratched his nose and darted another glance at the unresponsive Miss Worthington and Lord Derry. “That was a necessary if unfortunate precursor to Thea and Grayling pledging their troth. It was all part of the grand scheme of things, for y
ou know as well as I that matters must become very dire before all is happily resolved.”
“Well, since the weather is hardly conducive to sending anyone up in a hot-air balloon, what do you suggest?” Antoinette felt increasingly dejected as time ticked by. At this rate, Jack would be back to fetch his intended, and Katherine would forever be denied the love she deserved. If she had to admit what was truly in her heart, Antoinette did feel somewhat culpable for what had happened all those years before. But how could she have known Katherine and Jack were so utterly in love when Katherine had kept it such a secret?
She put her hand to her head, toying with the floral trimming as she sought for inspiration. And, suddenly, it came to her. “We’ll push her down the stairs!”
“Miss Worthington? Good God, Antoinette, even I would not countenance something so extreme!”
“I don’t mean murder her, for God’s sake, Bertram. What do you take me for?” Antoinette shook her head. “I mean so she sustains a little injury and Lord Derry has to look after her, after which he’ll become inevitably attached. It happened very successfully in a book I’ve been reading. In Pride and Prejudice, the dreadful matchmaking mama sends her daughter Jane off on horseback when she knew it was going to rain, and sure enough, the girl got soaked and caught a chill so spent a week as a guest of her hero during which time he fell in love with her. Just as her mama had hoped would happen.”
An approving look crept into Bertram’s eye and he nodded. “So, who shall do it? You or I?”
A bit of throat clearing from the other side of the room was followed by: “Weather’s not looking so good. I’d best be on my way now that my horse has been fed and rested.”
Antoinette swung round to face Derry who was rising from a bow in Odette’s direction.
Bertram made a strange noise before he hurried forwards, running his fingers around the inside of his collar. “Did you not hear, old chap? The message wasn’t passed on?”
“What’s this?” Derry frowned as he straightened.
“Your horse. Poor creature’s lame. I was sure the message had come straight to you that the ostler was trying to rustle up a replacement.”
“Odin’s lame?” Derry repeated, a touch of urgency straining his voice as he strode towards the door.